As I was unpacking my bags from the weekend, I found a small, half eaten bag of potatoe chips leftover from Friday afternoons lunch at the farmstand/deli in western Massachusetts. I had stopped for lunch on my way to a yoga retreat center. And now for a quick moment when I found the chips I thought,  “oh right, I forgot I had these”, then  “yum!”, to  “Oh. A test.  Awe shit”. 

I had forgotten about this little bag. After I ate my sandwhich on Friday there were a few chips left so I decided to save them for another time, put them in with my luggage then forgot about them. Over the weekend at the yoga retreat center I came to recognize my lack of commitment in certain aspects of my life. I had been saying to myself I want clean up my nutrition a little more, run a little faster, and get to bed a little earlier so I would get up a little earlier. Nothing big or drastic, but I could probably skip a few things here and there to feel a little stronger and sleep a little deeper. I have also been wanting to win my age category at the Xterra Worlds but then when it came to my running I was not really pusihing it on some days as is needed to build the fitness, I knew it and could say it but then going through the motions with a mind that was half ass about it. My commitment was not strong, I was going through the motions, setting the bar kinda low, then hanging out there. Not much growth there.  Maybe a little complacent with a voice that said tomorrow, I will push it a little more tomorrow. Well we all know tomorrow never comes yet I kept saying this each day.  

It was during this weekend away that I looked at this commitment thing and said “it’s time”.

Then these potato chips show up. 

So, now I ask myself  how committed am I to this? How serious am I.

It’s just a few chips, right? How much could that matter. But then yes, they are just a few chips, I can do without them, too. It can go either way. Throw them “in”, throw them out. Or the middle road to put a clip on the bag to leave in the cabinet for that day.

But this is how it happens. I can think it’s the chips, but it is the mind about the chips. They are just chips. They have no power over me, I can give them power. Right?

If I am serious, if I am committed to my health, and trusting myself, having confidence in myself, I can keep my word and promise to myself. For years it was easier to keep a word or promise to others, but not myself. So here was one of these moments of growth. To take it to the next level. This is a challenge. I am accepting this challenge.


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