Confidence in yourself to make it through challenging situations, through awareness
Looking up and slightly ahead-down the trail, I caught a glimpse of a river crossing. Then heard some splash, bump n grind of my fellow riders as they went through this. Mountain bike riding
keeps me in a high state of alertness less I find myself smooching, unintentionally, a tree, or several of them. Being on a bike is not like being on a bike, it’s bike and body meshed to become one-a bodyike, well that’s kinda weird, but you get my drift. My internal dialogue is incessant as I ride, it’s a challenge to quiet it, or at least quiet the chatter that doesn’t serve me well.
As I make my way toward the river crossing my thoughts go something like this: “ok, you can do this, stay relaxed, loosen the hands on the bars, drop the shoulders, where’s your weight, get some speed, you may crash, like the last time, you slammed into the rock, maybe you should just walk this, you didn’t sign up for Obama care, don’t kill yourself it’s only a bike ride…..” Along with this mixed chatter is are visuals,several, still shots and mind videos of me: crashed, laying on the ground, my shin cut n bruised from hitting the pedal, doing an endo, falling into the brook, being pierced by a tree branch. All this is within the 3-4 seconds prior to getting to the crossing. Such a busy mind! This is all previous experiences and voices of people in my past (parents saying “don’t kill yourself doing..”) that have become habituated thinking. Fortunately I recognize this and make the necessary adjustments to thoughts and visuals of what will help me in this present moment in this current situation.
On this trail in this moment sensing my body-my weight on the bike that connects me to the ground. I feel the ground through the bike, I am the bike! Sensing balance to stay upright, weight to keep traction on the wheels- shift weight forward or back? It’s all very real time. Constant sensing, feeling, seeing, acting, as the ground changes constantly so must I. Adapting to the current situation as it unfolds by the moment, second, nano second. What’s appropriate for me now? My eyes looking slightly past my muddy, knobby front wheel, allows me to make quick adjustments. There. The river. The rocks, water, mud, drops down in, climbs back up. I See my line, I am committed to it. Wait, the ego pipes in, you can’t make this! Yes I can, I retort. I stay on my line, I commit to it But bikes can’t go over rocks!- again the ego. That’s old structure thinking, yes they can! Pedal! I feel the fear, let my body soften to relax shoulders, my grip. There is a sense of dropping down, wet, water splashes up, I pedal, bounce bump n thump, water, dirt, mud-ah a spa treatment- yet I am supple, strong, balanced, aware, focused on and committed to that line. There are obstacles, I don’t look at them, though I know they are there. I stay with my direction, see where I want to go and go! Over big rocks, roots, water, up the embankment out the other side, crossed over. Elated! I did it. Not just crossed a river, but edging toward breaking down old structural beliefs: bikes (you) can’t go over big rocks, bow down to obstacles, you can’t do challenging things, you can’t go where there is no path, blah blah blah!
Wholly crap, isn’t that a metaphor for life!
Not to see obstacles, but opportunity. Create your own line, your own path.